light up tweezers?

27 Dec 2011 6 Comments

by heathersprague in Uncategorized Tags: holiday anxiety, Tweezers, vagina infection

I’m back. I know you were all waiting on the edge of your seats for my next blog. Not to worry, I am here now. Just had to get through that few weeks leading up to what for me is the most anxiety ridden day of the entire year. I know, I know most people look to Christmas as this wonderful time to gather with family and friends, give and receive, eat and be merry. Not I. This is when my harnessed Type A personality comes unleashed and I lose ALL control. It’s sad really. It all starts in November, the past few years its been October. You know when they start making mention of Christmas, or that person on Facebook kindly lets you know you have 72 shopping days. Panic sets in, F@*k I don’t even have halloween costumes for the kids yet, where are we even having Thanksgiving, Christmas PJ’s, gifts for the numerous people on my list that have EVERYTHING, decorations, SOMEONE pay down the credit card, winter boots, winter jackets, NO pockets or zippers though Carter will have a meltdown, we need dog food, shit we got a cat now we need cat food too. Do you see where this is going for me? I don’t get a lot of quite time in this perfect little head of mine, but add the stress of Christmas to it all and its like a bad episode of Jerry Springer right in my medulla oblongata . Oh and the worst of all of the Christmas time fouls, are those of you who decide to send me a holiday card and I get it the day before Christmas XMAS FOUL on you. Don’t do that, especially if I didn’t send you one. Trying to send me a little holiday zinger. Hmpf. Next year I am sending New Years cards so don’t even test me. Ok back to the topic at hand. I don’t feel like I am a good gift giver, and I know for sure I am a terrible receiver. As a matter of fact thats where all the stress started for me at a young age. Until recently I used to cry every Christmas.

Pathetic.

I am aware. I have NOTHING nor have I ever had anything to ever cry about. What a brat. I would cry because I had anxiety opening gifts and feeling like my reaction had to be perfect. How do you react to socks, or bubble bath from Walmart (vagina infection in a jar)? As a child Christmas was built up in my head, perhaps by my very own doing as this day that topped all days. When I was done opening said socks, and infectious bubble baths I felt a heavy sadness that the day was over. All of that build up and its done, 364 more days, someone get out the construction paper and glue this year we are doing a chain link for the whole damn year. That isn’t even the hard part, next comes the immediate need to put every last thing away in its rightful spot. Vagina infection on the shelf in bathroom with the last 7 years of vagina infections, socks with current socks, hang all clothing, organize all jewelry, toys, shoes, etc. Fast forward to a few days ago, 3 kids, husband, dog, kitten my house is a DISASTER. Its not the mess per say that sends me over the edge, I can handle a little mess, its just the abundance of new things paired with the abundance of old things and the lack of space to house all of these things. Okay….its the mess. I can’t take it. Look I said this was a bad time for my inner Type A personality. The good news is I made it out, we are clearly on the other side of this debacle. Its December 27th, we are all alive. If you would have asked Kody yesterday, December 26th at 6:30AM while I kindly encouraged him (barked) to get the friggen tree down and put all things Christmas away immediately he probably would have told you at least one of us was going to die. Yes, our house was completely de-Christmased by 8:15am on December 26th. I couldn’t be happier.

Christmas 2011-

Best gift-new boots that i have been admiring for some time (award goes to Kody)

Worst gift- SORRY MOM seriously though as if my anxiety wasn’t enough to send me to an early grave and you buy me lighted tweezers??? so now not only do i see every single god loving hair in my brow, but i swear they are x-ray lighted tweezers so not only do I see the current hairs, I can see the hairs that are on their way up and out, but NOT yet ready to be tweezed. I was in the bathroom for an hour and a half Christmas night tweezing, earlier that day I wouldn’t even have known those little hairs existed. Ignorance is bliss mom. (award goes to Bonnie)

Hope nobody else received light up tweezers.