May the force be with you…
08 Feb 2012 5 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: imagination, Jedi, Library books, Spock, Star Trek, Star Wars
Or something like that….
Every Friday is Library day for Carter. His love for reading astounds me, after all I was never a very good reader, I have no attention span and very poor reading comprehension. I love that he loves it though, there is nothing better than to watch his little face light up with excitement, curiosity, fear, and wonder. His little mind really does travel to the far away places in his books, he often dreams about his books and tells us about it at breakfast. He is usually pretty proud of taking a book home from the library and looks forward to reading the book over the course of the weekend and following week. Lately he has been bringing home Star Wars books. I know nothing, absolutely nothing about Star Wars. Except when I was younger people called me spock because for some reason the top of my ear doesn’t completely curl around, Kody thinks it looks like a mouse nibbled part of my ear, the jerks in elementary school thought it resembled spock ears. For the record I like my ears just the way they are. Oh wait, Spock was on Star Trek, see I know zilch about Star Wars. I did once get a Valentine with that little green monster on in it said “Yoda one for me” SO cute, in the following weeks that guy who said I was the one, apparently also thought my best friend (at the time) was the one too. asshole.
So last week Carter and I began to read his book it was all about the Star Wars characters, how they came to be, what their roles were in the story, it explained their powers and how they were to use them. Carter was particularly interested in the “Jedi”. If you’re an avid Star Wars fan, I apologize in advance for my lack of knowledge and I hope I don’t offend anyone with my ignorance on the topic. So the book proceeded to explain that the Jedi use “the force” and also a lightsabre all of which Carter was ready to sign up for. We then got to the part where it explains that to become a Jedi you must leave your family, friends, home, and even earth forever. You go to another planet to train, and never return. Your life is now to fight the Dark Side forever. This all threw a wrench in Carters plans. He was committed until that part. He started to ask me questions like “so if I go mom can I come back to visit you” I said no, “well mom what if I just go for a little while” I’m sorry Carter but apparently if you go you make the commitment to be gone forever “mom can i take my kaloos? (his favorite bears)” I don’t think so buddy. This conversation actually went on for about 10 mins. To be honest at one point I started actually thinking this planet existed, I was trying to brainstorm ways this poor kid could go for a while then come home.
Someone put a drink in my hand.
Carter talked about it for the following days, asking a question here and there, this was weighing on this kids mind heavy. I caught him deep in thought a few times and when I asked him what he was thinking about he simply said “the Jedi mom”. I didn’t want to burst his bubble, his imagination has run off and that’s the beauty of childhood, however I felt sort of bad that the poor little guy was in such turmoil inside trying to figure out how to have his cake and eat it too. Such is life my child.
Fast forward a week or so to yesterday. Carter came home from school he had a half day, he came in the house ate a snack he was particularly quiet. I’m not complaining. I was changing a diaper, doing housework, fishing legos out of the toilet, folding laundry, the usual. When I walked past the front door and saw some kid halfway down the street in a t-shirt and snow boots. Ignorant parents. I kept doing what I was doing, a few minutes went by and I walked by the window again. FOR SHIT SAKES IT WAS CARTER. I run to the front door, scream on the top of my lungs, he kept going. CARTER SPRAGUE!!!!!! —me yelling. He turns and looks back. I said “GET OVER HERE” he stopped turned around, and just stood there. I hope the neighbors didn’t see this. I proceeded to threaten him, he just stood there. I finally decided to ask “What are you doing?” He said “Mom I’ve decided to go be a Jedi, I didn’t say goodbye because it was just too sad” at this point I am walking towards him, he starts walking towards me. He was on the verge of tears. I am not sure if he was scared of me, or actually sad that he had made his mind up to leave us all for good. This has clearly gone to far. We walk back to the house. I gave him a long lecture on leaving the house, running away, kidnappers the bad fashion statement he was making in that outfit…etc.
By the time Kody got home I was over it, and to the point where I found it quite comical. Kody asked why Carter was “on my list” (I have a list it up to each member of this family to stay off of it each day) trust me you don’t want to be on it. Just ask them. I could barely get the words out of my mouth to explain to Kody what had happened. Saying it out loud was just too much. Carter left today to head to some planet for Jedi training, never to be seen or heard from again, except I happened to walk by the window and catch him on his way out.
Either this kid thinks I totally suck as a mom, or he really felt that strongly about lightsabres and fighting the darkside.
Either way someone please put that drink in my hand.
I can’t help but wonder how far my little Jedi would have gone.
Perhaps I will survive?
07 Feb 2012 4 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: angels, Child ID, DMV, survival, wine
I am not sure if the apocalypse is coming or what but in a COMPLETE turn of events I had probably the most positive experience ever today at the DMV, and get this, I had all three of my children with me ALONE! So we are traveling with the kids in a few weeks and last year on our family vacation it came to our attention that we should invest in non-driver ID’s for our children. It was actually a TSA security officer who suggested it, which in turn sent me into a paranoid, anxiety ridden spiral for the remainder of our trip. He pointed out that if the lady standing next to me grabbed my child out of my arms, I have no proof that he is actually my child, he also mentioned in the event the child was kidnaped we have a current picture with current information at our fingertips to turn over to the police. I actually think he gave me a few more reasons but at that point my imagination had already run off with the endless possibilities of terrible things that could go wrong on our trip. So anyways off I went today all 3 kids in tow to the DMV for their ID cards. It was quite like getting ready for picture day, I had to dress them all accordingly, fix hair etc. I decided to go to a different DMV than my last experience for reasons that should be fairly obvious. As I always do I prepped the kids on the ride over, explaining if they didn’t cooperate there would be no Disney World vacation this year, that they were required to have these pictures taken in order to meet Mickey and Minnie. Carter was all ears, listening closely, nothing gets between that kid and the Magic Kingdom. Bristol did her usual “okay momma” (I don’t understand a friggen thing your saying head nod) and my golden boy Colton needed no preparation why would he?
As I walk in the door, there is a line at least 10 people deep, and only two women working. I think I swore under my breath but apparently it was out loud because the lady in front of me cringed and the old man 2 people ahead of her gave me a thumbs up! So far so good, its been a solid 60 seconds kids are all listening, as we get closer to the front of the line I realize there is paperwork that goes along with this whole process. SHIT. How am I going to fill out paperwork with 3 kids. shit shit shit. I grab the 3 papers set Colton down and begin to fill them out. I was again and of course prepared with all the proper documents (birth certs, ss cards) My three kids stood like soldiers, not a peep. Believe it or not the only on who was even slightly fussy was Colton and rightfully so it was right in the middle of nap time for him. I get the papers filled out, get back in line and we wait another 15 mins. Still not a peep, silent, happy, patient children. It wasn’t quite long enough in for me to start owning this moment, I know all to well that any second or even milisecond (if thats a thing) these kids could come unleashed. Roving beasts. Maniacs. I know this, I am their mother. So I stood humble and quietly in shock. Ok its our turn! We get up to the window and there is yet MORE paperwork. I scramble to fill it out. The woman was SO incredibly friendly and happy. What the F&*k is going on. Maybe the Mayans are on to something. Next the kids needed pictures and to be measured, they all stood fairly still, smiled, and were polite. I looked down at my feet and there they all were sitting criss cross applesauce passing my phone around taking turns and sharing a few ritz bits. This wasn’t quick, I might add, I was at the window for a solid 40 mins, squaring away information, paperwork, and payment. NOT A PEEP. The place was totally full by this point, clearly, because as I said only 2 people working and I had the one occupied for at least 50 mins at this point. We wrap it up, and the kind, sweet, generous, wonderful, DMV lady gives my kids tons of stickers and praise. People in line were smiling, they were complimenting me, one woman owned a winery and offered me wine from the trunk of her car. I must be having some out of body experience right now. I decide its time to strut out of there proud as a peacock. Not only am I going to own this moment I was already writing this blog post before I had them all strapped in their car seats. I will remember this day forever. I immediately called Kody, after checking my gums for pinkness indicating life, yep I’m alive and this just happened. I have NEVER been on this side of things. EVER. It was total bliss, and I totally deserved it, I earned this moment. 
More importantly I have a renewed hope of surviving this thing called parenting. Yay me!
Love Yourself
06 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: drink water, good genes, love yourself, Obesity, sleep apnea, the biggest loser
I’m sitting here feeling kind of sad for our society tonight. After an experience I had today on an airplane, I felt bewildered at just how little self respect some people have. I find myself having a hard time being “politically correct” while deciding how to even start to write this blog. Let me start by saying a few things, I am a skinny girl, I used to just give total credit to my gene’s but the truth is they aren’t totally responsible. As a matter of fact I love my body, and I think that’s where it all starts. I don’t love it for the reasons you see many girls today loving their bodies (just scroll your facebook and look for pictures of girls in the bathroom taking pictures of themselves with their lips all puckered together wearing something typically less than appropriate for the www) No, thats not me. I love my body because its my vessel. I am grateful for what my body endures on a daily basis, I will forever be grateful for my body not giving up a few years ago when I was nearly killed by a horse, I am grateful for three healthy babies, I am grateful for the energy my body gives me. Sure I am lucky in some ways, I don’t have an affinity for junk food, I don’t consume much if any caffeine on a regular basis, I exercise, in general I make healthy choices for my body, and for my family. I have been active my entire life though as well, played sports, rode horses, and now I spend most of my days chasing my three wildly fast kids around! I admit sometimes I neglect myself in order to make sure everyone else is cared for, but seriously what mother doesn’t. I make up for it where I can.
To be honest for the longest time, (I just shared this with Kody on our recent little get-away), no not even for the longest time, let me rephrase to this VERY day, I live in fear that someday, some Dr. House of the world will discover that I am harboring some fat eating tape worm, they will remove it and every single Oreo I have ever consumed will immediately show up my my thighs and ass! OR it could just be another case of my relentless anxiety trying to send me to an early grave.
So back to the topic, why I find it so hard to bring up this subject is because I am skinny, and have never dealt with weight issues. Like almost everyone though I’ve dealt with self esteem/confidence issues at times in my life. Which and let me write in bold letters is the very basis of most people’s problems with weight. I watch “The Biggest Loser” and truly LOVE watching people transform themselves, and never, ever has there been a person on that show who wasn’t morbidly obese that didn’t have some sort of incident, or internalized emotion that has been pent up resulting directly in their eating habits, whether they were abused, molested, dumped, abandoned, lost a member of their family, they all have a story. I just don’t believe we come into this world with the mindset to abuse our bodies, we fall victim to it. Sure some people just become plain lazy, they eat unhealthy because its cheap, quick and easy. They choose not to exercise. The whole reason I even wanted to write this post though was because of what happened to me on our airplane ride home the other day. My husband had some business out of town and I decided to tag along since the weather was going to be so nice. We had a great time, being so relaxed we never thought about checking in for our flight we just made our way to the airport, sent our bags on their way, and proceeded to the gate. We realized then that we were in the last boarding group, we typically fly Southwest and if your familiar with them they have this stupid boarding procedure where they have everyone line up by group A, B, or C, and then in numerical order. It’s quite comical but thats for another post. Anyways, we realized we were group C and basically going to be the last people on the plane, we knew we wouldn’t likely find a seat together so we decided to take the first 2 seats available. After loading the plane the first seat was next to this very large woman and her very large husband so I decided I’d continue to the back. After I reached the back and realized that was the only seat left I made my way back to that seat. Damn it. I sit down, and by sit down I mean I literally wedged myself into the seat. The woman was sweating, breathing like an overworked horse, and the worst part of all was she was overflowing into my seat SO much in fact that we weren’t able to put the arm rest down. She literally was more then half in my seat. Her sweaty arm was rubbing up agains me the entire time, it got especially worse when she and her husband ate their 3 coarse self packed meal, downed her 2 cans of soda, and asked the flight attendant for triples of the “courtesy snack” TRIPLES. She then decided to naturally take a nap, which I didn’t need to be Dr. Oz to diagnose her sleep apnea (I am just as smart as any Dr.Oz though) She was snoring, snorting, she quit breathing at least 7 times, and quite frankly I am convinced she passed gas. I was on the verge of tears the entire time. Kody walked by to use the bathroom (gross) and threw his peanuts at me. (Kody likes to make immature references to his “nuts” on the airplane, such as “no thank you (to the flight attendant) I don’t want any nuts, however I am SURE my wife wants my nuts”, or “Here honey you can have my nuts, my nuts are your anytime you want” I could go on but I won’t) So as he proceeded to throw his nuts at me I gave him a look that I actually think might have scared him a little. The plane landed and I waited for Kody, the people next to me got their canes and got off the plane. The flight attendant came over and sat next to me and apologized profusely saying it should have been mandated that they buy 2 seats. I was furious, disgusted, and downright exhausted from holding myself in the position I had to for the whole flight.
When I get really heated about something Kody gives me 2 minutes of free bitching. After that he doesn’t like to see me so upset (or he just wants me to shut up) I am sure its the first one. He actually gave me a complimentary 2 minutes because he saw how upset I was. On the car ride home I realized sure, I was upset that these people were rude and ruined my trip home. However after that feeling passed I found myself sad, like I started the post. Sad because some people just simply don’t care. They don’t care about their bodies at all, no self respect what so ever. It broke my heart in a way, these people were cheating themselves of life. Of being healthy and feeling good, having energy and looking forward to their future. It starts with simple daily choices, drink water instead of pop, its cheaper, hell its free! Park further away at the store, walk the stairs.
Start loving yourself, you deserve it.
